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Spike Milligan

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Some Poems

Feelings

Feelings
There must be a wound!
No one can be this hurt
and not bleed.
How could she injure me so?
No marks
No bruise
Worse!
People say 'My, you're looking well'
.....God help me!
She's mummified me -
ALIVE!
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs

A Silly Poem

A Silly Poem
Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
B or not B?
Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy.

Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, Mirror
A young spring-tender girl
combed her joyous hair
'You are very ugly' said the mirror.
But,
on her lips hung
a smile of dove-secret loveliness,
for only that morning had not
the blind boy said,
'You are beautiful'?

Maveric

Maveric
Maveric Prowles
Had Rumbling Bowles
That thundered in the night.
It shook the bedrooms all around
And gave the folks a fright.
The doctor called;
He was appalled
When through his stethoscope
He heard the sound of a baying hound,
And the acrid smell of smoke.
Was there a cure?
'The higher the fewer'
The learned doctor said,
Then turned poor Maveric inside out
And stood him on his head.
'Just as I though
You've been and caught
An Asiatic flu -
You musn't go near dogs I fear
Unless they come near you.'
Poor Maveric cried.
He went cross-eyed,
His legs went green and blue.
The doctor hit him with a club
And charged him one and two.
And so my friend
This is the end,
A warning to the few:
Stay clear of doctors to the end
Or they'll get rid of you.

Goodbye S.S.

Goodbye S.S.
Go away girl, go away
and let me pack my dreams
Now where did I put those yesteryears
made up with broken seams
Where shall I sweep the pieces
my God they still look new
There's a taxi waiting at the door
but there's only room for you

On the Ning Nang Nong

On the Ning Nang Nong
On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
and the monkeys all say BOO!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!!

Teeth

Teeth
English Teeth, English Teeth!
Shining in the sun
A part of British heritage
Aye, each and every one.
English Teeth, Happy Teeth!
Always having fun
Clamping down on bits of fish
And sausages half done.
English Teeth! HEROES' Teeth!
Hear them click! and clack!
Let's sing a song of praise to them -
Three Cheers for the Brown Grey and Black.

Jumbo Jet

Jumbo Jet
I saw a little elephant standing in my garden,
I said 'You don't belong in here', he said 'I beg you pardon?',
I said 'This place is England, what are you doing here?',
He said 'Ah, then I must be lost' and then 'Oh dear, oh dear'.
'I should be back in Africa, on Saranghetti's Plain',
'Pray, where is the nearest station where I can catch a train?'.
He caught the bus to Finchley and then to Mincing lane,
And over the Embankment, where he got lost, again.
The police they put him in a cell, but it was far too small,
So they tied him to a lampost and he slept against the wall.
But as the policemen lay sleeping by the twinkling light of dawn,
The lampost and the wall were there, but the elephant was gone!
So if you see an elephant, in a Jumbo Jet,
You can be sure that Africa's the place he's trying to get!
Spike Milligan - Grovelling Bastard
What a Performance! - Spike Milligan
Spike Milligan - There's a Fly in My Soup
Spike Milligan - Pakistani Daleks
Spike Milligan - English Language
Spike Milligan - The Irish O'lympics
Spike Milligan - Q - Blood Sample
An Evening With Spike Milligan .
Spike Milligan - Black Postman gag
Bob Interviews Spike Milligan - (The Bob Monkhouse Show 1983)
Sanjeev Bhaskar reads Spike Milligan's hilarious letter home during WWII
Spike Milligan - Irish Noughts & Crosses Championships
Spike Milligan Reads - Adolf Hitler - My Part In His Downfall Audiobook
Spike Milligan on Parkinson (1977)
Spike Milligan interview - Parkinson One to One (1987)
Spike Milligan - First Irish Rocket To The Moon
Harry Secombe & Spike Milligan on Parkinson in Australia (June 1981)
Spike on Irish TV (the late late show)
Spike Milligan - The Fresh Fruit Song
This is Your Life S35E16 Spike Milligan 15th February 1995
Spike Milligan Odd One Out Round on Have I Got News For You (1995)
Spike Milligan - Adolf Hitler: My Part In His Downfall.
Spike Milligan - "Rommel?" "Gunner Who?"
Spike Milligan - Rommel? Gunner Who?
Spike Milligan - Kilt Chimes
The Undertakers - Marty Feldman & Spike Milligan
Spike Milligan Q7 Episode 2 8.6.2018.
Spike Milligan - Monty: His Part in My Victory (audiobook)
Spike: A Documentary
Spike Milligan and the Euro Fly in My Soup.avi
Spike Milligan on Becoming an Irish Citizen
Spike Milligan - Mr & Mrs AAARGH at the doctor's
Spike Milligan - Adolf Hitler: My Part In His Downfall.
Spike Milligan - Q - Chief of Police Caught In Compromising Position
Spike Milligan - Mussolini: His Part in my Downfall (audiobook)
Wogan's Radio Fun 10 - Spike Milligan & Harry Secombe Interview 1987
Spike Milligan - Hitler Sings
Spike Milligan - Dustbin Dance
Spike Milligan deals with a gatecrasher on live TV
Peter Sellers Reads Out Spike Milligan's Description of Eccles (1972)
Spike Milligan - Where Have All The Bullets Gone?
Spike Milligan - Parkinson 1980 - Jack Hobbs Dysentery Anecdote
Spike Milligan - Laugh At A Cretin
Spike Milligan interview - Des O'Connor Tonight (1988)
Spike Milligan - Idiot Scouts
Spike Milligan - Detective
Warren Mitchell Spike Milligan, both gone now, but not forgotten
Spike Milligan - Dwarf In The Dock
Spike Milligan, I told you i was ill. Documentary
Spike Milligan interview, Ireland

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