Murilo Porfírio

Countless times, oh, countless days,

here I stand, in sorrow's haze.

How many times has this pain led me here,

to pen my thoughts, so raw and clear?

Nearly all my works, both old and new,

are salted with tears for love of you.

You remain the love of my life,

the one I cherish, in joy and strife.

And though my heart will never cease to love you so,

without release, I fear the day might come to pass,

when love’s flame fades, alas, alas.

To me, it feels a lack of care,

though we live apart, we share

a distance deep within our minds.

I feel a fool for being kind,

but when you’re near, my heart finds peace,

and life with you feels sweet release.

But what curse is this that makes me care?

In a world of sorrow, where

some live in bliss, while others cry,

injustice reigns, and truth’s a lie.

How foolish am I to crave romance,

when my life’s full of privilege and chance.

Thank you, God, for all I own,

may I grow wise, and do not cast a stone.

Grateful for the blessings sent,

I will not hope for a love that’s meant.
 

Could it ever be too late for me to forsake where I dwell?

Paradise shines bright, and spring’s beauty casts its spell.

Then summer arrives, not with the desert’s fierce heat,

but with splendid vistas, distractions complete.

Souls gather and cheer, believing light makes them whole,

feeding their minds, nourishing their soul.

Is the dream as it is because dreamers conceive?

Yet I dream of a paradise beneath, where pure spirits weave.

No matriarchs addicted to their endless sway,

chattering of trifles, claiming they hold sway again.

In summer’s embrace, I long to return to you,

to lose myself in a hallucination true.

In the frail shelter, fragile yet bold,

withstanding storms, and the soul’s tales untold.

In the endless night, I live stories anew,

grief once molded words, now cold night inspires too.

Sadness shaped my words for long,

Now it’s the night and chill that make my heart’s song.

I’ve seen too much, weary from the view,

but still I crave the life I wish to pursue.

Daily the same, convincing myself anew,

brighter moments await with you.

A brilliant man dying under bitter lights,

one day my passion rare as twilight fights.

For each day wanes and memory ignites

of times unsure, with passions and plights.

What’s real escapes me, lost in your trace,

triumphant times I can no longer embrace.

Am I so fragile? Some days just erase

by whims of neglect, in sorrow’s space.

The truth—I love you, feelings sometimes shown,

from you they come, and then they’re flown.

Lost in yeses, sunk in no’s alone,

hating myself for feelings overblown.

Cursed I feel, by life’s relentless tone.

I hungered, oh the plight, to need all near in sight.

Creativity fled, as art held sway in my head.

Upon these rented walls that bound,

I saw the words of Rumi sound:

“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere, they’re in each other all along.”

I’m moved, yet filled with woe,

today’s the day we honor those who motherly affections bestow.

My own, alone, still dreams for me,

what luxury, to just survive this spree.

I tell her of my newfound goals, for old victories no longer console.

I seek horizons far and wide, to lessen the shallow tide inside.

Mother, love soars in my refrain,

the ache of distance, your silent pain echoes.

A kindred ache within me grows, akin to the man who claims he’s close.

Oh my God, is it just me or does

Shangri-La finally show a favor divine to me?

Don’t be foolish, every time the heavens smile my way,

a brother is dragged to hell, astray.

I’m ensnared, longing to be free,

yet yearning still for life’s decree.

I’ve lived so little as I desire,

and much as I can, in fate’s cruel mire.

Privileges, countless, fortune, and grace,

yet I’ve lost my soul in another place,

another realm, a dreamer’s embrace.

So I suffer for me, for him,

for everything and nothing, on a whim.

Joy returns when cares diminish,

when the world consumes my time, my spirit replenished.

How futile to be useful to the world’s design?

How futile to be useful to oneself, confined?

How vast the pain of loss, the will to attack,

that leaves a soul in eternal longing’s track?

I feel all is crucial despite its vanity,

just as I fall prey to such great treachery,

I seek to change the world and destiny.

I glimpse the souls eternal in this town,

I meet their gaze, yet indifference holds us down.

Voting for the left, against the Nazi tide,

you know the future's path is one, we cannot hide.

So cease to lift me when I fall for love’s embrace,

you cast our fate to a cursed, unreal tomorrow’s space.

Existence isn’t forged for you and me,

I always warned, deceivers will deceive,

and as we're bound in love so true,

they're enamored with a world sans me and you.

Let’s escape this tainted city’s spite.

I painted us a home in shades so bright,

You can step close and dream us in that light,

for I can't paint the people right.
 

Let your life go, seize your freedom’s gleam,

I can’t bear to watch them hurt, your heart so sweet.

No season right, the time just seems to flee,

from scorching heat to coldness, bleak and grim.

My dearest, love for you flows deep, extreme,

yet claims of passion’s fire might just deceive.

For in the summer’s blaze, I do not seethe,

I’m but a rose with thorns, and bloody seams.

Though roots have claimed the earth, where life does teem,

my heart still races, uncorrected beat.

It isn’t right, yet destiny I greet,

last night my soul found peace, yet turmoil streamed.

Oh darling, I long to dwell beneath the ground with you,

in silent company where love can be found anew.